I just want to let you know that I am out to get you. I know your weaknesses, and I am always prepared to go after them. And, guess what? Sometimes, I win. Sometimes, I get the best of you. I lock your best up in a tight box and shut it so that you might forget it’s there. Then all you can see is bad. I make you feel like you are nobody. I make you want to disappear. I hide all light at the end of the tunnels. I make you forget there is light. I’ve made you take actions to hurt yourself. I’ve made you wake up in the middle of the night and drive around, crying. Scream into your pillow. Shut every single person out. And my biggest success in all of my 20 year career with you – making you fail to realize it’s okay not to be okay. I’ve made you carry the burden of your guard through one moment too many. You never even knew how to let it down. You couldn’t even cry in front of your parents. You’d smile all the way up the stairs after getting home from rowing and burst into tears with the closing of a door. Like holding your breath, pretending to be alright. You even fooled yourself. These are my victorious moments. Stealing your lungs. All because you mistook me for reality until I became it.

Love,

Fear.