There are so many people and thoughts and words and possible combinations of words to create from my thoughts for those people. I swim around in infinity yet try putting pieces together to reach a state of completeness that won’t come. I try solving a puzzle that cannot be solved. I can’t write. I can’t speak. I can’t be. Can I just hide under these blankets and press the off switch? This is too much. This is too much for me. I close my eyes and draw a piece of paper out from the hat of suggestions. I’m told to just stand back and take in the pieces without trying to put them together. I’m told that it won’t be so bad. It could be okay. I don’t have to hold back. I don’t have to hold on – to anything. Actually, I am more than anything I could ever hold on to, I learn. How bout that? Okay. I’m gonna open my cage now, count to three. I’m the one who put myself in there. I can take on this day.

-S